What I've known to be double I saw in you, an imitation of a reflection. I will never be like you, I was only enticed by the veil you wore for me. But it wasn't that you deceived me, it was that I only justified what I wished to become aware of.

No one shows who they really are because everyone and everything is fake. That's just the nature of existence, and existence of one implies consciousness and empathy.

Empathy is how to describe the phenomenon of understanding that people are like the self, have their own feelings, beliefs, thoughts. A strong piece of evidence is the guilt/remorse of one's actions once realized that it has an effect on others. However, I cannot prove the theory that others are like the self directly and definitely.

I never knew you. I wished I could understand but I don't, and I never will. I have rationalized this mindset because it is suitable for me, otherwise I would be wondering for the rest of my life if you were truly the one. There is a problem though, because these words still betray the deepest parts of my thoughts. The flaws inherent of my design make it so that I'm emotional, but in a way that isn't typical.

You will never be like me.

It's so lonely, and I don't mind it sometimes. But it's really a pitiful existence that I don't have anybody to count on, at all. There is no point in whining or wallowing though, since this is just my life and how it's always been. (I know it's not okay but this isn't a fantasy where someone is coming to help.) Maybe the reason why I liked you so much was because I thought you could almost understand me.

I'll continue to live in my head where I can play out these scenarios differently and manipulate every factor in my favor. Please don't misunderstand; I do acknowledge reality and I value the truth, as I mentioned earlier. This is how I survive and anchor myself into this world. Simply put, this way is better for me.